Inner Conflicts: How the Psyche Sabotages Itself?

“Man will pass judgment on himself for his crime, more mercilessly, more strictly than even the sternest law” – this is how Fyodor Dostoevsky described inner conflicts (2006, p. 68). These conflicts often manifest as self-sabotage—subconscious actions or thoughts that hinder individuals from achieving their goals, maintaining emotional balance, or living a fulfilling life. Self-sabotage is closely linked to inner conflicts, anxiety, and psychosomatic symptoms.

What Are Inner Conflicts and How Do They Form?

Inner conflicts arise when opposing forces intersect in a person’s psyche: desires, fears, societal expectations, and personal principles. Kurt Lewin, a prominent psychologist, identified four primary types of inner conflicts in his field theory:

1. Approach-Approach Conflict – When a person must choose between two appealing alternatives but struggles because both seem equally desirable.Example: Choosing between a vacation in the mountains or at the beach.

2. Avoidance-Avoidance Conflict – When a person must choose between two unpleasant alternatives, both of which cause stress.Example: Having a difficult conversation with a boss or continuing to work under poor conditions.

3. Approach-Avoidance Conflict – When a situation appears both attractive and intimidating.Example: A promotion at work, which brings more income but also greater stress.

4. Double Approach-Avoidance Conflict – When both options have positive and negative aspects.Example: Choosing between a high-paying but stressful job and a lower-paying but more relaxed position.

These conflicts develop due to various factors, such as personal beliefs, societal pressures, or even childhood traumas.

Self-Sabotage and Psychosomatics: How the Psyche Turns Against Itself

Inner conflicts often lead to psychosomatic symptoms, such as headaches, digestive issues, or fatigue. When the psyche cannot resolve internal contradictions, it begins to work against the individual. Common forms of self-sabotage include:

1. Fear of Failure – People fear failure and therefore avoid actions that may involve risk.Impact: Procrastination, self-criticism, guilt, and decreased self-esteem.

2. Perfectionism – Individuals set unrealistically high standards, leading to dissatisfaction with their results.Impact: Constant stress and a lack of self-fulfillment.

3. Fear of Success – Success is sometimes perceived as a burden, causing individuals to consciously avoid progress.Impact: Stagnation and self-isolation.

4. Low Self-Esteem – People subconsciously sabotage their achievements because they believe they are unworthy.Impact: Lost opportunities and strained relationships.

5. Fear of Leaving the Comfort Zone – Individuals fear change and prefer to stay in familiar but unproductive situations.Impact: Stagnation and a sense of life lacking progress.

   
   

Inner Conflicts and Panic Attacks

When inner conflicts become too intense, they can result in anxiety or even panic attacks. Such reactions occur when the psyche cannot cope with internal tension. Psychologist Bessel van der Kolk emphasizes that psychosomatic symptoms are the body’s way of expressing unprocessed emotions and fears (The Body Keeps the Score, 2014).

How to Address Inner Conflicts and Avoid Self-Sabotage?

1. Identify Patterns: Consciously observe your behavior and thoughts that hold you back.

2. Work on Self-Esteem: Acknowledge your achievements and learn to appreciate small steps forward.

3. Set Realistic Goals: Define achievable goals and allow yourself to make mistakes.

4. Seek Support: Therapy or support from loved ones can help identify and resolve inner conflicts.

   
   

Inner conflicts are a natural part of human psychology, but they should not become a barrier to living a full life. By recognizing and understanding these conflicts, we can create not only harmony within ourselves but also a life guided by self-expression rather than self-sabotage.